


From Anna to Martha

by feelssogoodinmyarms



Category: Frühlings Erwachen | Spring Awakening - Frank Wedekind, Spring Awakening - Sheik/Sater
Genre: Canon-Era, F/F, Lesbians, kinda sad oof, love letter, mentions of abuse, she talks about how moritz nd wendla are dead too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-19 02:41:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16525766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feelssogoodinmyarms/pseuds/feelssogoodinmyarms
Summary: The letter Anna slipped to Martha before she left for her Aunt's.





	From Anna to Martha

**Author's Note:**

> The world needs more Marthanna so I'm uploading this. I wrote it a long time ago but I really love it so I hope you enjoy! Anna talks about Martha's dad abusing her as well as Moritz and Wendla's death so be warned.

Dear Martha Bessel,

Before I say anything I want you to know I’m very happy for you. You’re the bravest person I know and I’m glad everything will be better for you from now on. 

 

Since I met you I’ve been quite fond of you. Back before everything got so complicated, before boys and girls were separate, before emotions and anger and all the terrible things that have happened. I will never forget the little girl in the plaid green dress from first grade. The light seemed to radiate from you, you were so happy. I was practically pulled towards you. It wasn’t until I was much older I realized how special you were. Friends have come and gone over the years, but you stuck by me. I’ve known you longer than any of our friends. God, do you remember how we used to play when we were younger? Playing house, or pretending we could fly far, far away? How you’d sit in my lap and we would take off rolling, it really did feel like we could fly. I loved when you spent the nights at my house, how’d we would make perfume out of rose petals and stay up talking and giggling until it was very late. 

 

When we got older, nothing made sense except you. I didn’t understand why we were separated from the boys, or why I suddenly hated my parents, or why I felt these unholy urges (as Father Kaulbatch calls them). I was so angry all the time, but after lessons when we would all go walking by the river I was so happy. How the sun hit your dark hair, how you smiled, your laugh, everything about you made me feel intoxicated and nauseous and so wonderful at the same time and I didn’t know why. 

 

The day you told us about how your papa beat you, I was so sad. Sad doesn’t describe at all the deep feelings of anger and despair I felt for you. I wanted to help you but I couldn’t and it frustrated me more than my own problems. When I saw the welts on your arms I felt an anger I never had before. I wept for you that night, and many more after. That’s the worst feeling, far worse than frustrations with my mama or church or any of the adults; the feeling of helplessness. I was afraid your papa was beating you as I lied there in bed sobbing. It was so horrible.

 

Now everything has just gotten worse, as Moritz is gone and Wendla and her baby are gone. I wish we could go back and fix everything. Just last month Wendla was with us, playing and laughing, and now she’s breathless. It’s frightening to think about. The same with Moritz; I hadn’t seen him in ages and then he was no more. I wonder if he grew to be as handsome as Melchior. 

 

I’m so happy things are getting better for you, Martha. You need to get away from your home, and going to your Auntie’s farm is just the place for that. I hope you never have to see your papa again. I’m going to miss you so much! I wept again after Moritz and Wendla’s passing, then I wept when I found out you were leaving. Those tears were both happy and sad. I don’t want you to leave, but I know it’s the best thing for you. 

It’s going to be strange not having you around. It’ll just be Thea, Melitta, and me. I never thought we’d end up like this. Every day we’re going to pick a flower for you and save it in a book, so we know how long you’ve been gone. It was Thea’s idea; she comes up with the loveliest things. 

 

I have these strange feelings, Martha. They became very clear to me he other night when I was thinking again. Melchior is handsome and intelligent, but I don’t like him how Thea does. I’ve never really liked any boy. Mama says I’m young and that I’ll find one I like when I’m older. I’ve been thinking how I’d rather be married to you than a man, when we’re older. It’s silly, but I do find you very lovely, Martha. You’re the most beautiful girl I know. You’re strong too. With everything you’ve gone through at home and how you’ve stayed so positive, it’s remarkable. You’re always so kind and can make me laugh always and have the prettiest smile. I get a strange feeling that’s like fear when we laugh or when our hands touch. The little things you do make me grow fonder of you. Like I said, it’s silly. But perhaps one day, if you wanted to as well, we could be married. I’m sure father Kaulbach wouldn’t mind, he says God loves everyone. And God loves it when people love, so why shouldn’t we be happy? When you come back and we’re older, I would like very much to be married to you. Just imagine it! We could live in a little cottage with flowers and a stream running by. We could have kittens and horses to ride and all kinds of other animals. Thea and Melitta could live next door with their husbands, and Ilse could live nearby too! We could all go visit Wendla’s and Moritz’s graves every day. The two of us could stay up and watch the sunrise and eat as many cookies as we want and laugh all the time, because no one can tell us not to. You’d never have to be beaten again. 

 

I miss you so much already. Please think of me while you’re away, and please write! I’ll write to you too. One day we’ll be very happy, Martha. We’ll be free and rid of all the awful grown-ups, I promise. Enjoy the time with your auntie. I’ll be right here when you come home. 

 

All My Love, 

Anna Wheelan

**Author's Note:**

> [spring awakening tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/feelssogoodinmyarms) | [main tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/devious-stare)


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